How to Teach Kids to Push Through No Matter What

Have you noticed that there seems to be a general culture of giving up when it gets hard? Maybe your child would rather walk away from a situation instead of talking through a problem face to face? Or maybe you see students put their heads down or even nod off because the work becomes too difficult? Instead of being problem solvers, they can't handle failing so they just shut down.

I have noticed an alarming increase of kids that give up instead of work through problems. This scares me. Not only for what society will look like in the future, but also for each child's own future. If we don't somehow instill a force within our youth to persist and do whatever it takes to succeed, then I see a foreboding future of lots of people relying on free handouts, paid for by those hardworking souls. We need to change this. Like yesterday.

So how do we teach kids to have a goal, to push through hardship and challenges no matter what? Recently our state testing was administered, and I noticed a distinct alarming pattern. Students were not trying. It happened to be a beautiful warm day before the test, the first real warmth of spring we had experienced. I imagine kids were up late playing outside, and in my school demographic, playing on the streets, likely getting into mischief. I am only inferring this and do not know for sure, but I had several sleepy kids who could not push through the first day of the exam without continuous encouragement (and despite me making them a homemade warm breakfast beforehand). The test didn't seem important to many students.

Put aside the idea of being against standardized testing (I get that!), but my main point is that no matter what challenge, whether it be a personal conflict, a standardized (or any) test, an assignment that feels to challenging, or heck! simply bending over and picking up that pencil, just feels too hard for some kids so they quite before they get started!

Having a competitive sports background may be the reason this really gets me going. I've been banging my head against the wall trying to inspire students, igniting a passion and instilling drive to succeed. Because I work where I do (in an urban setting), I know many of my students experience a lack of drive at home, which makes it even harder to gain momentum.

While I have had success inspiring many students, some just still seem not to care, and those are the ones I am most concerned about. Why do kids lack motivation? Why does the system feel broken in so many different ways? I am truly asking my readers for any insight in your experiences. Please leave a comment today so we can get the conversation going. How do we change this? How do we attract more kids to having a desire to push themselves to the limit?

The ways I have tried so hard to tackle the motivation crisis are as follows:

1. Teach with passion. I teach ELA and am always sharing what I am currently reading as well as sharing my excitement for what I am teaching. When kids see a passionate teacher, it's easier for them to care about the material too.
   

2. Make learning come alive. I think project-based learning is a natural way to do this. When kids are involved in learning through projects and being part of something greater with an end in mind, they are much more apt to be motivated to work hard.
   

3. Set high expectations. I talk about this a lot, but I feel it's super important. If we don't set high expectations, then we are dumbing our kids down. We need to push our kids to experience what it feels like to work hard and then the success that comes after. That feeling of working hard to success is a winning combination for future challenging experiences encouraging motivation and drive within a person, hopefully ending in success.
   

4. Foster a sense of respect. This doesn't mean demand respect but earn it from doing all the things on this list. When you set high expectations for students and for yourself, students push harder for you. They know when you've created awesome lessons, and they know when you don't. When you teach with passion and show your students you love them, they will respect you in return.
   

5. Build a community where kids feel like they belong. This not only happens during instruction time, but all of those extra bonuses like coming down for lunch to play Wordle together, or hosting an art club, or after school study session. Give your kids opportunities to feel like they belong.
   

6. Showcase students' strengths. The other day I made my students waffles before the state test. After the test there was leftover batter and one of my students really wanted to make more so I let him. Typically a challenging student, this was an opportunity for him to showcase a talent and interest of his: cooking. Needless to say, there were no behavior issues from him on that day or since as he served more waffles with a huge smile and a sense of pride.
   

7. Fuel amazing opportunities. What I mean by this is create opportunities for your kids to be themselves and share what their gifts are to the world. How do you do this? By giving extra opportunities to them before school, after school, during lunch time, and during class time with them. Have a special project for kids who finish early that's so amazing, it will help the rest of the class stay on target so they can join in too when they complete the assignment. If you have a student who is a fashionista, somehow incorporate fashion into a project. If someone loves to fix things and is mechanically inclined, allow a passion project where they use communication skills to share their talents.
   

8. Give to others. When kids see a giving teacher, they know it and secretly appreciate it, even if they aren't all good at expressing gratitude. Bring flowers for the person at the front desk, bake or cook warm soup or hot chocolate during the cold winter months on Fridays for your students. Purchase Girl Scout cookies and support other fundraisers. Be generous by buying cool supplies for a hands-on project you are doing. By giving to your others and to students it feels good and students pick up on this act. Additionally, spend time expressing gratitude, making it a normal part of your life.

Over my career I believe I have been a good motivator, but to be candid, this has become more and more challenging as years have gone by. Recently, I had my students gather in a circle to discuss the amount of giving up I was seeing. I tried to pump them up, like I would coaching or playing soccer. A strategy I used was this, "Everyone, I want you to think of something that you are in this moment driven to do. It can be about being a student, an athlete, or a certain kind of person. Think of something that you feel an inner spark about. And if you don't have one, I want you to envision a spark right now coming from within you, lighting you up inside so that you are driven to do this thing you are thinking about." And then I instructed everyone to think of that thing and say it out loud in our circle, ending with the statement, "No matter what." I wanted them to visualize creating a new path in their life and instead of settling for the easier route, or even worse, giving up, a new spark was gathering momentum inside of them. My intention was for them to create a mantra ending in "no matter what" so they intrinsically could feel motivated about their spoken words. Below are three free handouts, designed in cartoon format, for you to use with your students. Light that fire under them! And please let me know how it works! Some of my students lit up when they stated "I am going to be a better younger sister, no matter what!" and "I am going to be a more caring person, no matter what!" One class was so into this that we chanted "No Matter What!" at the end of the day as if we were in a team huddle! I could feel the energy in the room explode in an amazing way!

Please contribute any of your ideas that may help another teacher or parent to motivate their kids. In fact, I challenge you right now, to comment below and give 3 ways that either YOU are motivated or your students. In other words, what lights a fire under you? What sparks a fire under your students and how does that happen? I can't wait to hear what you have to say!